Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Praying for Back to School
Saturday, August 1, 2009
"The Supergirl Epidemic"
The Supergirl Epidemic
A friend of mine posted an article today that is well worth reading: The Supergirl EpidemicAn excerpt from that article says,
"It's no longer enough to do well in school and be a caring, devoted friend. Today's young women are expected to combine high-caliber academic, athletic and extra-curricular performance, with the style and looks of 'Gossip Girl's, Serena van der Woodsen."
I remember my own teen years and the struggle to juggle it all—grades, sports, journalism (yes, I was writing even back then!) and a social life. I think, though, that these expectations have increased exponentially over the last decade. Not sure why (although I think it has something to do with our American culture of being the best, owning the best, wearing the best) but it's a very real, and a very serious problem.
So what can the church do to help?
1. Don't expect every girl to be at every event. A girl's spiritual depth should never be measured by whether or not she attends everything your church offers. Does she need to be involved? Absolutely. But she may become resentful of the church (and God, by extension) if she feels that she's being judged harshly because she chose cheerleading camp over a weekend retreat.
2. Check your calendar. Are you offering too much? Girls want to please you, and they may feel mounting expectation to attend everything you offer. Offer fewer activities and events, but make those events high-quality. It'll make her feel less stressed—and you and your team!
3. Offer a place where she can truly be herself. Girls desperately need a place where they can let their walls down and don't have to live up to other people's expectations. I am reading a book right now called Nineteen Minutes. It's a fiction book, but the author Jodi Picoult reflects this supergirl struggle in one of her characters. She writes that
"She [the main character] understood how she was supposed to look and supposed to act. She wore her dark hair long and straight; she dressed in Abercrombie & Fitch...But there was a part of her that wondered what would happen if she let them all in on the secret—that some mornings, it was hard to get out of bed and put on someone else's smile; that she was standing on air, a fake who laughed at all the right jokes and whispered all the right gossip and attracted the right guy, a fake who had nearly forgotten what it felt like to be real..."
When a girl walks into your home, your Bible study, or your church, don't just accept what's on the surface. Take the time to get to know her. She's craving that.
4. Help girls filter the messages they are taking in. They need to be trained in knowing how to evaluate the media they watch, listen to, and read. Many of these messages reinforce the idea that girls are somehow supposed to "do it all."
5. Talk about your own struggles. Let girls know you are not a superwoman. Let them know when you've missed your time alone with God. Acknowledge your struggles in memorizing Scriptures. Tell them when you have an argument with your husband or don't stop to talk to that friend who needed you. They need to know that no one can do it all—even you.
6. Let girls fail. This one is painful to write. As a mother of a four-year-old, I want my daughter to succeed. I want her to excel. But if she never learns failure, then she never learns that she is human; she never learns that she is a sinner in need of a Savior. She never learns the lesson that her behavior does not equal her worth; she never learns that she is more than the sums of her accomplishments.
7. Be a model of forgiveness and restoration. Girls are sinners. They will make mistakes. They will disappoint you. When that happens, model our heavenly Father who will "punish their sin with the rod, their iniquity with flogging; but I (God) will not take my love from him, nor will I ever betray my faithfulness."
Sunday, July 19, 2009
"Why Girls Have BFF's" - from Lifeway Girls Ministry
An article on Time's Web site caught my attention this morning. The gist is this: girls' brains are hard-wired for social interation.
Not that this news is any surprise to me. Spend any time with girls and you'll notice that everything, and I do mean everything, in a girl's world revolves around relationships. What they wear. What movies they watch. How well they do in school. All in part (or in whole) determined by relationships. Relationships with friends. Teachers. Parents. Coaches. The opposite gender. Even their "relationships" with people in the media.
Today's article was a reminder to me that in everything I do with girls' ministry, I need to be aware of a girl's natural, God-given bent toward relationships. When I get completely frustrated with them talking too much during a Bible study, I need to be more patient. When I do "forced interaction" with girls they're not close to, I need to be prepared for a little flack. If I am trying to reach out to a girl who's struggling, I need to reach out to her friends, too. I need to be OK with the fact that not every girl in my group is going to be best of friends, sit around a campfire holding hands and sing "It only takes a spark...."
And, the article was stark reminder to me of what can happen to a girl who does not have solid, strong, healthy relationships. Just recently in the news in Nashville, a young woman killed her famous boyfriend and then herself. Speculation is that she feared he was breaking up with her, so she killed him and then tried to stage the scene so that when she killed herself, she would fall against him in a final picture of her dying love.
Other stories don't make the headlines, but they are just as serious: girls who get into bad relationships because they're looking for someone to love them; girls who choose to taunt and abuse (sometimes physically) another girl in order to "fit in" or because the victim somehow threatened her social status; girls who feel alone and abandoned, outcast and forgotten.
When it's all said and done, it doesn't matter how many events we have in girls' ministry or how "cool" all of them are if those events leave girls feeling disconnected. If we don't build relationships with girls and help them build a relationships with God and others, then we've missed meeting their deepest needs.
How do you try to build relationships with girls? How do you help girls build relationships with others?
Friday, July 17, 2009
Back to School....
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Updated Prayers & Praise
•Praise for caring teachers and parents!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
The Least of These !
Least of These
Cam Price
Listen
And the King will say, “I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!” Matthew 25:40
Inquire
As a college and pro football coach, Gene Stallings encountered plenty of tough situations on the field. But in 1962 Stallings was handed one of the greatest challenges of his life: his newborn son, John Mark, was diagnosed with Down syndrome and a serious heart defect. Doctors and friends urged the Stallings to institutionalize Johnny so he would not be a burden. Putting Johnny in an institution was not an option. Johnny not only lived nearly 10 times longer, he did so with a caring flair that captured the hearts and minds of people he met throughout his life. "He just had a genuine impact on people, really because he cared," said his sister, Laurie. "He would focus in on the people for who they were and what they were doing. He didn't care about their success or their status."
Faith
John Mark Stallings could have been considered one of the least of these. Instead, John Mark Stallings spent his 46 years on this earth making a difference in the lives of the people he met. Daily I see people that just need to know somebody cares. Do I care because it’s my job to care? Or do I choose to care because my Lord asked me to have a heart for the least of these?
Experience
Father God,Give me a heart for the least of these. Amen.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
A Firm Foundation
Create a foundation at home & in your own lives that will transcend to your children and those over which you have influence. Let them see in you a strong tower, unwavering in your Faith! May they know that even in the tough times you can stand strong, that God's word is true to His promises and that He will NEVER leave nor forsake us!
Remembering in prayer:
- Corner Park Cheerleaders competition this weekend
- High Point Youth Trip preparations
- All traveling for the holidays ahead
