Praying for Back to School

In much prayer as our Corner students and faculty begin another exciting school year.

Praying for discernment for all and new friendships and relationships to be formed.

from Lifeway Girls Ministry

The Supergirl Epidemic

BY

PAM GIBBS

ON JULY 31, 2009 | 0 COMMENTS

A friend of mine posted an article today that is well worth reading: The Supergirl Epidemic

An excerpt from that article says,

"It's no longer enough to do well in school and be a caring, devoted friend. Today's young women are expected to combine high-caliber academic, athletic and extra-curricular performance, with the style and looks of 'Gossip Girl's, Serena van der Woodsen."

I remember my own teen years and the struggle to juggle it all—grades, sports, journalism (yes, I was writing even back then!) and a social life. I think, though, that these expectations have increased exponentially over the last decade. Not sure why (although I think it has something to do with our American culture of being the best, owning the best, wearing the best) but it's a very real, and a very serious problem.

So what can the church do to help?

1. Don't expect every girl to be at every event. A girl's spiritual depth should never be measured by whether or not she attends everything your church offers. Does she need to be involved? Absolutely. But she may become resentful of the church (and God, by extension) if she feels that she's being judged harshly because she chose cheerleading camp over a weekend retreat.

2. Check your calendar. Are you offering too much? Girls want to please you, and they may feel mounting expectation to attend everything you offer. Offer fewer activities and events, but make those events high-quality. It'll make her feel less stressed—and you and your team!

3. Offer a place where she can truly be herself. Girls desperately need a place where they can let their walls down and don't have to live up to other people's expectations. I am reading a book right now called Nineteen Minutes. It's a fiction book, but the author Jodi Picoult reflects this supergirl struggle in one of her characters. She writes that

"She [the main character] understood how she was supposed to look and supposed to act. She wore her dark hair long and straight; she dressed in Abercrombie & Fitch...But there was a part of her that wondered what would happen if she let them all in on the secret—that some mornings, it was hard to get out of bed and put on someone else's smile; that she was standing on air, a fake who laughed at all the right jokes and whispered all the right gossip and attracted the right guy, a fake who had nearly forgotten what it felt like to be real..."

When a girl walks into your home, your Bible study, or your church, don't just accept what's on the surface. Take the time to get to know her. She's craving that.

4. Help girls filter the messages they are taking in. They need to be trained in knowing how to evaluate the media they watch, listen to, and read. Many of these messages reinforce the idea that girls are somehow supposed to "do it all."

5. Talk about your own struggles. Let girls know you are not a superwoman. Let them know when you've missed your time alone with God. Acknowledge your struggles in memorizing Scriptures. Tell them when you have an argument with your husband or don't stop to talk to that friend who needed you. They need to know that no one can do it all—even you.

6. Let girls fail. This one is painful to write. As a mother of a four-year-old, I want my daughter to succeed. I want her to excel. But if she never learns failure, then she never learns that she is human; she never learns that she is a sinner in need of a Savior. She never learns the lesson that her behavior does not equal her worth; she never learns that she is more than the sums of her accomplishments.

7. Be a model of forgiveness and restoration. Girls are sinners. They will make mistakes. They will disappoint you. When that happens, model our heavenly Father who will "punish their sin with the rod, their iniquity with flogging; but I (God) will not take my love from him, nor will I ever betray my faithfulness."